The End And The Beginning
by FirePrincess251
Summary: When one door closes, another opens. It may not always seem like that but just wait and it will. The end may not always be just the end. It can also be the beginning of something too. For LOVEisREALx3's writing challenge


The End And The Beginning

The candle light made shadows flicker across the wall, giving the room a warm, cozy feeling.

She sits on her couch with a glass of wine her life in pieces around her. Nobody has called. Nobody has dropped by to see how she's doing. Nobody cares.

Have you ever felt that empty feeling of having nobody and nothing in this world? Well, that's exactly how she felt.

She sits there lost in her thoughts, reminiscing about how magical that night, willing to give anything to go back to that night and just pause time.

That night had been so unbelievably perfect. Just like one of those cheesy romance novels.

He had taken her to one of those fancy, expensive Italian restaurants. She had on a frilly blue dress and he was wearing a tux. There was a dorky heart shaped balloon sitting on the table. They had had a perfect meal chatting and laughing about their days.

After dinner he had taken her to the beach. It had looked so magical with red flower petals and candles strewn haphazardly about.

He had gotten down on his knee and given her the most beautiful speech she had ever heard, filled with love and promises of a happy life if she just said yes.

In a mixture of happy crying and laughing she managed to get out a yes.

That one moment would be looked back upon as one of the biggest mistakes of her life. Not the biggest but one of them. Trust me the biggest one is a whole lot worse.

That summer she got her perfect fairytale wedding and for a few months everything was okay. She had a perfect job, perfect house, perfect family, perfect life, perfect everything. And soon she would have a perfect baby. But then things started to change.

She doesn't quite yet know how long she had ignored all the signs. All the little things telling her that everything was so wrong. Like the overnight business trips, the multiple missing of dates, and all those unexplainable situations.

Her friends and family of course noticed, but she didn't want to believe that anything was wrong. And slowly but surely she started to pull away from everyone and everything but him.

Then everything came crashing to an end. She had woke up and walked into the kitchen to make breakfast, and there he was sitting at the kitchen bar with a stack of papers settled next to him. On his face was a mask of calm.

He steadily told her that things weren't working money and that he wanted a divorce. He was in love with someone else and he didn't think that it was fair to either one of them to keep on pretending like things were okay.

She remembers calmly asking who it was, and hearing the name of her best friend leave his lips.

That's when the dam broke. All her pent up feelings came rushing out she started crying, screaming, throwing every reachable item at him.

How could he do this to her? Hadn't he just a few months earlier promised to love her through everything?

When she finally got tired, she fell to the floor feeling exhausted. She looked up and there he was sitting there; the same position as before; that stupid mask of calm still covering his face.

He asked her in that annoyingly calm voice to pack her bags and leave the house, and like a stiff robot she did.

Why she didn't fight to stay there more, she doesn't know. All she knows is that she was emotionally exhausted and she just wanted to get far away from him. Maybe if she had she could have prevented what happened next.

She packed all her personal belongings into a suitcase and stuffed it into the trunk of her car.

At first the car won't start, but after a few tries the car finally turns over. She screeches out of the driveway, dust kicking up behind her. There were tears streaming down her face. She knew she shouldn't be driving in the state she was in, but again, she just wanted to get as far away from him as humanly possible.

Then came her mistake. She turned around for one second to reach for a tissue box.

In that one second she swerved into the other lane.

In that one second she crashed head on to another car.

In that one she destroyed not only her baby's life but also the lives of the two kids whose parents were killed on impact.

Second thought, driving was her mistake, looking away for that split second was fatal.

The next she remembers was waking up in a hospital. Every bone in her body aching.

Then her memories came crashing down: divorce, fight, best friend, crying, leaving the driveway, turning to get a tissue, the horror in the faces of the parents and children in the other car.

She starts kicking, screaming, anything to forget. Soon, nurses start rushing into her room. One of them sticks her with a needle.

The tranquilizer does its job. She feels nothing before blacking out.

There she sits finishing the bottle of wine, another sitting on the table in front of her, taunting her.

She cannot live with herself. Living with knowing the lives she has ruined. She wishes she could go back and not get into that car, but she can't. No matter what she does she cannot bring her baby back or save those children the pain of losing her parents.

She'd love to put the blame on someone else; her hus…ex-husband, anyone, but all she can feel is an overwhelming disgust with herself.

She feels like those drunk drivers, their stupid mistake costs other peoples lives but they turn out just fine.

She starts crying again. The crying soon turns into bawling which escalates to throwing random things into a wall. The phone starts to ring.. That too is picked up and hurled against the wall sense of déjà vu. Didn't she just do this a few days ago.

A sarcastic laugh escapes her mouth, "I guess I just like destroying things."

Then she realizes something. She doesn't want to live anymore. She doesn't deserve to live.

She stands there on the sidewalk willing herself to walk up and ring the doorbell. In front of her is their house.

It's one of those perfect ones; painted blue with white trim, emaculate green lawn, white picket fence, and the round mailbox with the little red flag and their family name painted on the side. It makes her think about how funny it is that so much sorrow can fit into such a perfect wrapping.

Numerous family members and friends have filtered through the white door of the perfect house. She wonders what they think of her just standing there unmoving across the street.

All she wants to do is to apologize to those young children whose entire lives she has forever scarred, for the things she's done, but she can't. She can't bring herself to do it.

Because if, by some small miracle, they actually listened and forgave her, she might actually be able to look at herself again without feeling a deep sense of hatred and loathing. And she needs all that to accomplish her task.

So she selfishly leaves a letter in their mailbox. A letter filled with sorrow and regret and the remains of her bank account. She knows that none of that can fix everything, but it at least feels like she's doing something to make amends.

One stop down, another to go. .

If you asked her a few months earlier if she would be standing at this spot, standing at the edge of a bridge holding onto the cold, steel bars for dear life, she wouldn't have believed you. Not only that, she would have laughed right in your face and called you crazy.

Funny how so many things can change in so little time.

She once heard someone call this one moment between life and death majestic, even beautiful. That's a laugh.

Standing there with trails of mascara running down her face, not from her tears, those have long since dried up, but from the pounding, blinding rain bearing down on her.

She looks down into the cold black freezing water, willing herself to jump, for her life to end.

For some reason her arm won't let go. Hours pass and her body starts to go numb. A few more and she climbs down from the ledge.

Her feet start moving without her consent, wandering to some unknown place.

Her body is number than she ever thought it could be. She can't feel anything on the inside and her outside is just as lifeless.

When it feels like she finally has control over her body again, she stands on the white sand of a beach, the retreating waters before her.

She sits down onto the soft sand and for the first time in a long time she feels a sense of calm.

Maybe this isn't the end of everything. Maybe this is only the beginning.

She resolves to think more about it the next day.

She lays her tired body down and drifts off to sleep. The sound of the ocean played over and over in her mind until nothing felt real anymore.

I'd really appreciate it if you guys could review and share the stuff I could improve in or what you liked about it. Thanks :)

-Hannah


End file.
